Saturday 23 February 2008

Not The Sporty Type!

“Dear Aunt Aggie, Please help, I'm scared. I'm 14 years old and in High School. They make me go to basketball practice and I hate it! The other kids are mean and I get picked-on in the changing rooms by the older kids. My parents don't want to listen to me, and the teacher says if I don't play I'll get a bad report card. Please tell me some excuses so I can't go. Thank you very much.”from Max in Missouri, USA, age 14

Loving Aunt Aggie replies: What a nice polite young man you are Max, even for an American. I'm so sorry to learn you don't like basketball, which presumably the school is forcing you to do. I understand just how you feel. I was young once.

You are obviously feeling guilty about letting your team down as your heart is not in the game, which leaves me wondering why it is that you are such a wimp? Is it just basketball you dislike or does it apply to all sport? Perhaps you would be better suited with ballet lessons or with some other girly pursuit?

But don't worry, it's not like it was in my day and age anymore. No, these days there are all kinds of support groups for homosexuals. They can do wonders in helping you accept the fact you're not a real man. Once you've accepted yourself for who you really are, you might start to notice how much more comfortable you feel wearing your mothers clothes. Then, perhaps after a sex change operation, the school could put you in the girl's basketball team instead.

I'm sure it would come as a relief to both yourself and the other boys, then their team won't be spoiled anymore by having to put up with some little gay fairy.

Aunt Aggie © 2008